Dogs in the News: Automatic Dog Washing Machine Version

OK, there are times in my life when I think that living with any human other than Sarah would be an improvement. However, it turns out that there are all sorts of other humans out there who would not be much of a step up. Take, for example, the man who invented this automatic dog washing machine. An automatic dog washing machine? Are you kidding me? Apparently not, because here's a picture of the thing (with more at the link):

Though the linked website is from China, the machine itself is in Japan. Of course a nation obsessed with Hello Kitty would invent something so anti-dog as an automatic dog washing machine.
Now, if you read this blog on a regular basis, you know that I am not too fond of getting baths. But at least if Sarah is involved in the process, there is the chance for me to get her all wet. However, this machine takes away that one, small part of bath time that gives me even the slightest bit of joy. Boo!

Thankfully, Sarah is not planning to take me to Japan anytime soon (as far as I know - she's sneaky enough that she might be planning just such a trip, and not telling me about it). So, for the time being, bath time will continue to be a chance for me to soak Sarah and otherwise cause trouble for her. Still, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to have nightmares about this machine tonight.

Bath Time Is Not Fun Time

For some, the weekend is the best part of the week. For me, though, it sucks. You see, during the week, Sarah (the asshole) is at work most of the time, so I am on my own to do as I please. However, on the weekend, Sarah is here, and I am forced to put up with her all day.

Take yesterday. It was a beautiful day here, and it started off just fine - Sarah took me for a nice, long walk, and I got to see a bunch of other dogs. But then, we got home, and, because it was nice, I went out in the backyard, where I was minding my own business. As part of my business, I decided to roll in a substance I found back there. Hey, what can I say? I like the eau de shit (I am a dog, after all).

Now, I came back in, and Sarah was not very happy with me. This is what I looked like:

Lookin' good, if I do say so myself.

While I was happy to have pissed Sarah off, I was not happy with what happened next. You see, Sarah immediately decided I could not be in the house in this state, so she dragged me upstairs and gave me a bath. I wasn't even that dirty, just a little dirty!

I hate baths.

Thankfully (and surprisingly), Sarah did not take a picture of me while I was getting my bath. However, after I got out, she took this one of me:

All clean. Not a happy camper.

But I got the last laugh - as soon as I was all clean, I went right back outside and rolled in the crap again. Sarah was so frustrated she didn't even give me a second bath. And she left me alone for the rest of the day. It was awesome.