What I Could Have Had In Life

It turns out that Sarah (the asshole) used to live in Wisconsin. So, this last weekend, Sarah took me up there to visit her parents, which is why I couldn't post anything for your reading pleasure for the last few days. Here's what I learned while there:

1. Cats are assholes. This is a picture of one mere seconds before it smacked me.

I hate cats. Almost as much as I hate Sarah.

2. Wisconsin is freaking awesome. So, of course, Sarah moved away. Probably with the thought that she was going to get a dog and then torture it with weekends in Wisconsin. And I'm the one who has to suffer.

3. Baths suck:

Newsflash, Sarah - I sat in that mud puddle because I LIKE being muddy. I did not need a bath, nor did I want one. And you know what I wanted even less than a bath? Having my picture taken while getting a bath. That was a true asshole move right there. I mean, seriously, Asshole Hall of Fame quality right there. You must be real fucking proud.