It turns out that Sarah (the asshole) used to live in Wisconsin. So, this last weekend, Sarah took me up there to visit her parents, which is why I couldn't post anything for your reading pleasure for the last few days. Here's what I learned while there:
1. Cats are assholes. This is a picture of one mere seconds before it smacked me.
I hate cats. Almost as much as I hate Sarah.
2. Wisconsin is freaking awesome. So, of course, Sarah moved away. Probably with the thought that she was going to get a dog and then torture it with weekends in Wisconsin. And I'm the one who has to suffer.
3. Baths suck:
Newsflash, Sarah - I sat in that mud puddle because I LIKE being muddy. I did not need a bath, nor did I want one. And you know what I wanted even less than a bath? Having my picture taken while getting a bath. That was a true asshole move right there. I mean, seriously, Asshole Hall of Fame quality right there. You must be real fucking proud.
Artie Gets a Puppy
1 month ago