Friday, February 25, 2011

Unhappy Birthday, Sarah

So, today is Sarah's birthday. I did not escape unscathed.

There had better be a piece of cake in my future. And some ice cream as well.

Luckily, this is one of the few times that I can actually get some immediate revenge on Sarah (immediate revenge that does not involve my bodily fluids, at least). I would like to announce to the world that Sarah is 32 years old! Do not let her tell you she is 29! She's much older than that! She is 32!

Ah, that felt good. I can't wait for next year when she's even older. It's almost worth the strange party crown. Almost.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Rain Rain Go Away (And Take My Raincoat With You)

Yesterday, in a rare fit of treating me well, Sarah took me to the pet store and bought me not only a bag of treats, but a new toy as well (which, now that I remember, I still haven't properly destroyed - I guess I have a plan for the day!). Unfortunately, with Sarah, no trip to the pet store is complete without the purchase of something humiliating for me. Yesterday, it was a raincoat. Now, I figured I had at least a couple weeks before it rained here and I was forced to endure this latest humiliation.

I was wrong. This morning, it rained.

The fact that the coat is not pink is only a small consolation to me.

Having purchased the coat only yesterday, it goes without saying that Sarah heard the pitter patter of rain on the roof this morning and leaped out of bed, giddy as a kid on the first day of summer, in anticipation of my impending torture.

Next time, I vote that we skip the walk in the rain entirely. I have a backyard; I can take care of business there.

I guess there is a little comfort to be had in the fact that no one else was out walking their dogs in the rain this morning, so (as far as I know) none of the other dogs in the neighborhood saw me in this get up. Unfortunately, I may not be as lucky next time. Because you know there will be a next time with this.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Do Not Heart Sarah

As you are probably aware, Sarah is perpetually single. While most women who are within two weeks of their 32nd birthdays would find this a state of affairs to be remedied as quickly as possible, Sarah seems entirely content to be single. Probably because it means she can devote 100% of her energy to tormenting me.

Anyway, while many a single almost 32-year old would be lamenting yet another year of Valentine's Day without a mans to buy her roses or chocolates, Sarah takes joy in having another excuse to dress me up.

The proper sentiment in my world is Licks and Butt Sniffs.

There is a LOT of pink in that picture. Also, lest you see the toy and think that Sarah is secretly hiding a boyfriend who bought it for her from me, I feel the need to point out that the stuffed animal in this picture belongs to her sister. Which also means that, instead of getting to chew it up, Sarah took this picture and immediately hid the panda from me. SO MEAN. But so par for the course.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Bachelorette Blues

So, as you may know, Sarah and I have been on the road a LOT lately, both because of Sarah's work and because of her non-work life. This last weekend, I visited a new state (Ohio) so that Sarah could attend a bachelorette party for one of her friends from law school (yes, Sarah is a lawyer. And you thought she was a bad person even before I told you that!). Now, I was just supposed to hang out while Sarah went to this party, but we had to drive many hours to get there, and it snowed almost the entire way, so we were quite late. So, instead of getting a nap like I had expected, I went to the party. It was NOT my idea of fun, but then, hanging out with Sarah is never my idea of fun, so this shouldn't surprise you.

But do you know what was even less my idea of fun? Having Sarah dress me up in a veil when we got back to Indiana.

The fake pearl necklaces were not my idea, either.

I really did not need this. It's freezing cold here, I've been dragged all over the midwest this last week, and the last thing I want is to have to deal with Sarah's desire to dress me up. Hopefully, things will get better soon. It's at least supposed to be warmer this weekend, giving me the chance to play in some mud and mess up the house.

You may now kiss my butt, Sarah.