Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Bikini Weather Has (Unfortunately) Arrived!

According to the internet (100% reliable, or so I have heard. And I would know - after all, I'm a dog with a blog), the modern bikini was invented in 1946. Somehow, I don't think this was how the bikini was intended to be worn.

No, this was not a bikini made for a dog. Unfortunately, I am all too familiar with the fact that there are, in fact, bikinis made for dogs.

There is NOTHING redeemable about this outfit. While I am all about the U.S.A., this sort of thing is wrong, and should not be allowed to happen. It is not patriotic, just humiliating. I don't care if it's Memorial Day this weekend, there are much better ways to observe the holiday than putting me in a bikini reminiscent of the U.S. flag. Might I suggest a good alternative way to celebrate this holiday would be to feed me something? As if that will happen with Sarah.

Even if you transported me to the beach (instead of the bedroom floor, which is where Sarah took this picture and which, I assure you, is not beach-like in the slightest), this would still be horrible. There is no redeeming this outfit. Or any outfit meant for a dog, for that matter.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

May the Fourth Be With You - Or Not

Sarah, in addition to being a horrible person, has a streak of dorkiness a mile wide, as will be demonstrated in this post. This should be her theme song for this particular blog post.

Anyway, Sarah's horribleness is directly responsible for what I am wearing in this picture:

It's a Yoda costume. Or, as Sarah would probably want me to say, "Yoda costume it is." So unbelievably horrible. And dorky.

You see, today is May 4th, which means that people like Sarah who harbor love for Star Wars turn "May the force be with you" to "May the fourth be with you." I can't believe I have to live with someone who finds this amusing.

Adventure? Excitement? Choppy craves not these things. She only craves an owner who does not dress her up for holidays that don't actually exist.