This whole thing started off with something quite nice. You see, Sarah bought me a little pool, so I can cool off during the hot summer months. If you had to wear a fur coat all summer long, you'd appreciate this as well.
Sarah knows I like pools like this, because my grandparents have a fountain at their house which I LOVE. When I am not chasing their cats, I am typically lying in the fountain, which is often full of leaves and crap that smells fantastic (at least to a dog).
Now, I should have known Sarah would not do something so awesome like get me a pool without somehow ruining it. You see, Sarah couldn't just get me a pool. Oh no, she had to do something else, and couldn't leave well enough alone. Something so, so horrible that it needs to be seen to be believed.
Oh yes, Sarah bought me a swimsuit. And a swim ring. And kiddie arm bands. And goggles. Something is seriously wrong with Sarah.
First, there is no way I am going to drown in four inches of water. I don't need seventeen things to keep me from drowning. Second, I'm a dog! I don't need swimming accoutrements. I just get in the water and paddle away (which, once again is NOT NECESSARY in a kiddie pool because it's FOUR INCHES deep). Third, seriously, who does this to a poor dog?
This is so, so wrong, I don't have words. If, however, you know of a way a dog could kill a human and make it look like an accident, please let me know. I would appreciate it.
And if anyone asks, I didn't say anything about wanting to off Sarah for this.