You will never guess what crap Sarah (the asshole) made me do this weekend:
See that? That's Sarah deciding that I am the "outdoorsy" type of dog. I have no idea where she got the idea that I would want to go on a two mile hike on a Saturday morning at the butt crack of dawn, but she did. And so, I found myself traipsing through woods and a creek, like Bear Grylls with fur. Hell, because Sarah seems to have chick wood for taking my picture, I even had my own camera crew.
The least she could have done, having made me go on this stupid fucking hike was let me do it without the leash. But Noooo, the rules say dogs have to be on a leash, so for those entire two miles, I have to act like her bitch, and walk next to her. What the hell kind of good is being a lawyer if you can't find a way around a leash law?
Anyway, I did show her who was boss, because I made her take me around the cave that you're supposed to crawl through. Seriously, bats are fucking creepy, with their dog-like faces and the whole flying mammal thing. Also, I totally refused to sit still for a picture in front of a waterfall. The closest picture Sarah got was this:
That's right, I showed her my ass as I went back up the stairs to the car. Seriously, two miles? I have better things to do with my weekend.
Am I on the Train?
1 month ago