Thursday, March 12, 2009

People Who Should Have Their Balls Cut Off: Bob Barker Edition

Welcome to a regular feature here at Choppy's Dog House, called "People Who Should Have Their Balls Cut Off." It turns out, Sarah isn't the only asshole out there. Today, for the inaugural edition, I will appropriately look at a man who has caused many balls to be cut off, Bob Barker.

Bob Barker, you should have your balls cut off.

Bob, let me tell you a story about a dog. To protect the innocent (and adorable), let's call her "Shoppy." Now, Shoppy used to have a uterus and ovaries. But, about 10 days ago, a certain asshole named Sarah (I'm not protecting her. She's definitely not fucking innocent on this one) decided that Shoppy wasn't using those ovaries and that uterus, and had someone cut Shoppy open and pull out her reproductive organs. ASSHOLE! Just because Shoppy was not using them right now doesn't mean that she wasn't going to use them in the future! Think of all the fucking cute puppies that could be populating the future. But Nooo. Someone had to go and have Shoppy spayed.

Now, as big an asshole Sarah is for having had Shoppy spayed, it turns out that there is another asshole that spent years and years of his life encouraging people all over the United States to spay and neuter their dogs. The name of this asshole? Bob Barker.

It's bad enough that Sarah had me . . . I mean, Shoppy . . . spayed, but this man, this Bob Barker asshole, he is single-handedly responsible for the spaying and neutering of thousands and thousands of otherwise virile dogs. This is serious asshole behavior. And I've sniffed a lot of assholes in my life, so I know what I'm talking about here.

Of course, because he also encouraged people to spay and neuter their cats, he's still less of an asshole than Sarah, who Bob has a message for in Number Three here:

No comments:

Post a Comment