I Need My Evening Walk

The other night, Sarah was being a lazy ass, and didn't walk me after work, because (a) it was like 28 degrees outside, and (b) her beloved Notre Dame Fighting Irish were on television in the Big East tournament.

These are definitely not excuses to keep me from going on my evening walk. First, the cold is no fucking excuse for Sarah to stay inside. She's from Wisconsin, for chrissakes, and Wisconsin may as well be Canada as far as cold is concerned. Second, she was fucking delusional if she thought ND was going to win that game. The Irish were down like 17-2 after three minutes. That's not basketball, that's a blowout. But noooo, someone kept watching that debacle and made me go out in the backyard during the commercial breaks, instead of taking me for our evening walk. Asshole!

So, you know what I did? I didn't get mad at that asshole, I got even. I had four "accidents" over the course of the evening, even though I am fully capable of getting my big boned ass outside to take a shit or a piss. After two accident-free days, I'm pretty sure that Sarah got the message that I need my evening walk.