Christmas, Part 3 (The End)

So, when I woke up Christmas morning, there was a bit of panic on my part. You see, all of the stockings had been taken down and filled with goodies, EXCEPT MINE! This was cause for panic.

You can tell Santa has been to my grandparents' house by the nearly empty glass of milk and the partially eaten cookies. And yet, there my stocking is, all alone and unfilled. Horrible!

Christmas was turning out terrible. But then, things started looking up. You see, it turns out that even though there was nothing in my stocking, there were gifts for me! Here's my first (yup, first!) bag of them.

After the whole stocking debacle, you would be sticking your head in the bag like this, too. 

Santa did come for me! I should never have doubted the cuteness to attract him my way. And, unlike Sarah would have done, Santa brought me ZERO items of clothing. Santa rocks!

There were three big bags of stuff for me. Unfortunately, he failed to bring me the number one item on my list: a new owner. Well, there's always next year.

Christmas, Part 2

So, while Christmas started off pretty badly, it promptly got worse. First, we have a little snow in Indiana. Enough so that it looks like Christmas, but not so much that it inhibits my ability to walk around and take care of my bodily functions. It's pretty much the perfect amount of snow. Wisconsin? Not so much.

This definitely qualifies as too much snow. WAY too much snow. And I'm supposed to squat and poop in this. Needless to say, it typically does not go well. Perhaps I should learn to use the litter box. Or not.

Second, Sarah FINALLY got me a stocking. This should be something fun and exciting. However, we're talking about something Sarah purchased here. And she didn't get me something nice and pretty and appropriate. Instead, she got me a horrible stocking, that I do not like at all.

Yes, it's pink. Yes, it suggests that I am naughty. No, I do not approve. At all.

This whole thing was made even worse because, just before Christmas, I broke a window. Now, this really shouldn't be considered my fault. After all, there was a squirrel sitting just outside the window on a fence, and it was taunting me. And really, the window should have been able to hold my weight, because, seriously, 65(-ish) pounds is not that much. But, I did pound on the window as I barked at the squirrel and break it, so I guess I could see how some people (namely, Santa and Sarah) would think that I had been naughty and decide not to bring my presents. So, having a stocking that suggests I am naughty makes me a little worried.

Is this the face of a naughty dog? I think not.

It turns out, come Christmas morning, my fears of being on the naughty list were seemingly coming true...

Ho, ho, ho! Merry - Wait a Minute...

I have to say, I love Christmas. Trip to my grandparents' house, lots of food, presents - it's pretty awesome. Unfortunately, I also have to deal with Sarah's crap. Last year, it involved a reindeer costume. With a light up nose. Needless to say, that part of Christmas is horrible. And I really don't want to remind Sarah about that outfit, because she didn't take many pictures of me in it. I would rather that such pictures never find their way out of her possession.

Unfortunately for me, Sarah decided that she would get in the Christmas spirit extra early this year, so she purchased me a Christmas dress.

This picture does not do justice to the sheer amount of sparkle this dress involves. That's not supposed to be a compliment. This isn't Toddlers & Tiaras, people.

Really, Sarah? A Christmas dress? Do you think I need a dress? It's not like I'm even allowed to go to church, and that's the only place I could think I would be wearing this. Note: This complaint is in addition to the general complaint that dogs don't need clothes.

Anyway, having put me in the Christmas dress, Sarah would not leave the whole Christmas thing alone. So, off she went to fetch something else.

A Santa hat. I should have guessed this one was coming.

Anyway, as Christmas approaches, I'm pretty sure that things are only going to get worse. I'll keep you posted.

Bah Humbug.