Thursday, March 31, 2011

Baseball Is Not My Sport

Sarah enjoys sports. Not playing them (she's too uncoordinated to do anything requiring actual physical ability), just watching them. And, of course, using them to humiliate me. Today is Opening Day for baseball, which means Sarah broke out something for me to wear.

What? Did you expect me to look happy about this situation?

The worst part? Sarah didn't even purchase this. Nope, someone else bought it and gave it to her. So now I don't have to worry about just Sarah dressing me up, I have to worry about others helping her do it!

Because the hat wasn't bad enough as a hat alone, it also has to splay my ears out at a strange angle so I look like I could flap them and fly away.

This stinks. I just keep telling myself that Sarah is going on vacation next week, and I will get to live without her. Here's hoping her vacation will end my suffering, even temporarily.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Spring Stinks

So, spring has begun. In a move that will surprise absolutely no one, Sarah marked the occasion by dressing me up.

I am not a flower. Nor do I want to pretend to be a flower.

I don't know what is wrong with a person that makes her think "Hey, it's spring now. You know what? I should make my dog wear a flower headband!" My best guess is that a lot is wrong with her.

Sarah added to my humiliation by making me pose with an old stuffed rabbit. Not that you can tell what it is from this picture.

One of the few toys Sarah has bought me which I have not yet destroyed. After this picture, I may need to get on that.

Sarah's vacation (a.k.a., the three best weeks of my life) cannot get here soon enough.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day = Horrible

Now, Sarah does love to humiliate me. I think if you're on my website, you're well aware of this by now. However, she seems to take even greater pleasure in humiliating me on certain days. St. Patrick's Day is one of those days. In case you don't remember, this is what she had me in last year. Not my finest hour.

Unfortunately, it was quite pleasant compared to what she had me in this year.

Like last year, there is the green-colored water that is supposed to be beer. And, like last year, I was given no alcohol to wash away the memories of this outfit.

Most of this outfit is actually a costume Sarah wore. Yes, she actually wore these items in public, for the world to see. This is horrifying. At least she didn't bring me with her.

I look drunk in this picture. I wasn't. I wish I had been.

I am pretty sure she can't outdo this year, next year. I'm sure she'll try, though.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Take These Beads, Please

So, next week is Mardi Gras. Sarah and her sister go down to New Orleans nearly every Mardi Gras, and they are going again this year. For those who don't know, Sarah came back from Mardi Gras after her 30th birthday and got me. So obviously, Mardi Gras is NOT my favorite holiday (though I do enjoy having a few days off from Sarah while she is on vacation).

Of course, I like it even less after what Sarah did to me this year for Mardi Gras.

Yes, it's a Mardi Gras-themed feather hat (and beads, of course). I don't know exactly where she gets these things, but I'm pretty sure I can blame the internet for this one.

I can't tell you how happy I am going to be to be rid of her for a few days.

Another view. Because one picture of this ensemble just wasn't humiliating enough.