Dogs in the News: Burnin' Down the House Edition

You know how people are always fucking complaining about news coverage? I’ve got my own complaint over this particular article: “Dog Blamed for $10K House Fire.”

Seriously, news assholes, not cool. Did you ever stop to think about the dog in this story? Did you even consider that the owners of this particular dog might have been fucking lying to get themselves out of trouble?

I mean, look at these lines from the story: “Fire investigators in Baton Rouge say the pup was playing with a pillow a little bit too close to a space heater, and the cushion ignited. Two people were asleep in the bedroom when they woke up at 4 a.m. Thursday to find flames in the room.” That sounds fucking fishy to me. Did this reporter ever stop to think that one of the people who was asleep in the room knocked the pillow onto the space heater? Or, more likely, the humans were getting frisky and knocked a pillow onto the space heater, and were too embarrassed to say so? I’m a fucking dog and these possibilities are immediately obvious to me. And humans think they are so fucking smart...

On the plus side, this article does give me a new idea of a way to piss off Sarah.