The least Sarah could have done was put me in a life jacket made in the last twenty years. This is less "cool and retro" than "I'm pretty sure this is so old that it has lost its floating ability and would NOT save me in the event that I fell in the lake and was drowning."
Now, here's my major complaint about this. I'm a dog. I can swim just fine without flotation devices. We've already discussed this, but Sarah seems unable to get it through her thick skull, even though she has seen me swim before, and even though I have no intention of swimming ever again (not a big fan). I guess I should just be grateful that this isn't pink, but still. Not happy about this life jacket thing.