Tweet This, Sarah

So, the other night Sarah got a package. I could tell right away that it was something for me, because (a) It was pink, and (b) Sarah kept telling me I was really going to get excited about this. I could tell it wasn't clothes, but I had no idea what it was.

Turns out, it might be worse than clothes.

You see, a few months ago, Sarah discovered this contraption online that hooks to a dog collar, sort of like my camera. Except, instead of a camera, it's some sort of contraption that sends messages to the computer, which then puts them on Twitter. It's called Puppy Tweets. I have a picture:

Pink. And stupid. Sarah loves it.

Now, this would be all fine and dandy if the tweets were things that I'm actually doing or saying. But they're not, they're just random crap that has nothing to do with what I am actually thinking. And they're stupid to boot! For example, here are some of the things it has said today:

Puppy Tweets rules! Finally I can express my thoughts and feelings to the world! One question: does it matter if I get slobber on it?

In typical fashion, the cat down the street is registered as an Independent. They can't ever commit to anything.

L'il help! Nose stuck in bird feeder!

Obviously, this is not cool. Sarah, of course, thinks it is awesome, and has hooked it up to her Twitter account. You can go there and see more stupid things this contraption attributes to me, but I recommend against it.

Also, a note to all inventors out there: Please stop inventing stupid things for dogs. Sarah buys them, when she could be buying me treats or something I actually want. Thanks.