Keep Your Tutu Awayway From Me

There are certain sounds that a dog should hear and get excited about. For example, the sound of cats being yelled at, or plates of food being dropped on the floor.

One such example should also be the sounds of an owner's excited squeal upon the discovery of something fun and unexpected. However, if you're me, that's not a sound you want to get excited about.

Why? Because the reason for that excited squeal may be Sarah's discovery of dog clothing she forgot she had.

So, so wrong. And, of course, pink. It's like the universe has something against me.

A couple months ago, Sarah bought me the tutu pictured above. Now, it used to fit better, but I guess all that good cooking at my grandparents' house fattened me up. So, instead of tossing the tutu, or waiting until I go back to the normal, slightly less big boned version of myself before making me wear it, Sarah just decided to put the tutu around my neck, like I'm some kind of Project Runway reject from an unaired episode involving clown college. Seriously, Sarah. Not cool.

I may look happy in the first picture. This one more accurately captures my desire to either hide or kill Sarah, and then proceed to destroy this abomination of a tutu.

Happily, this is the only thing Sarah seemed to find in my clothing drawer that I haven't already worn. Of course, the downside to that small iota of happiness in my otherwise bleak existence is that this will probably be used by Sarah to justify the purchase of something new and potentially even more humiliating than the tutu/neck warmer. Though I am not sure this is even possible.