Monday, July 12, 2010

Ten Reasons I Love Vacation

So, as you know, I have been on vacation for the last ten days. Granted, it was not a vacation to some exotic location, but I did get to go see my grandparents, which is just as good. Now, because Sarah insisted on taking her computer with her (which makes absolutely no sense, because she was going to northern Minnesota to camp, and I know for a fact that there was no internet service where she was), I didn't get to discuss most of the awesome things I did over vacation. Thankfully, though, Sarah has brought the computer back, and now I am going to give you ten awesome things about vacation:

10. Wiffle Ball: Now, others may thing that wiffle ball is just a game played with a bat and ball. It's so much more than that - namely, an opportunity to steal wiffle balls and chew them to pieces. I only got my paws on two, but they were fantastic to chew up with all those little holes. I highly recommend their tasty plastic awesomeness.

OK, I didn't really play wiffle ball so much as watch others actually play.

9. Chasing a Deer: I saw something awesome last week at my grandparents' house - a deer. And my grandma (whose coolness I cannot stress enough) let me run through a room I am otherwise not allowed in, to chase it! Now, I know that most people would probably think I would put this super high on fun things I did last week, but I have to admit something - deer are a little scary. I mean, those things have long legs, and I would rather not get hit in the head by one of their hooves. I bet that would hurt a lot more than a cat scratch. Still, I did enjoy chasing the deer, at least until it ran into the woods (which are rather scary, and which I stay out of if at all possible).

8. My Aunt Charlotte: She took Sarah away on vacation, which is unbelievably awesome. However, she has a cat, so many, many points were taken off for that. She'd be way high on this list without that cat (though, in the cat's defense, it hates Sarah and even gave her cat scratch fever once before I was born and fully able to enjoy it. Therefore, it's the coolest cat ever. Still, it's a cat).

7. Eating Furniture: It's not just for sitting anymore! I ate part of an ottoman this last week. I haven't eaten any furniture at home yet, but Sarah is now on notice (and seriously, eating furniture is quite fun. I was considering starting with the good couch, but I like sitting on it too much. I think I'll go with Sarah's bed first, to punish Sarah for keeping me off of it).

6. My Uncle James and Aunt Colleen: They brought my cousin Izzy with them over this last weekend, which was great (as you'll hear about further down the list). They might be higher, but they make Izzy wear a harness just like mine, which is MEAN. Also, note to Aunt Charlotte: Get rid of the cat and get a dog, and you too will move up this list.

5. People Food & Cat Food: The entire time I was at my grandparents' house, I ate exactly 3/4 of a bowl of dog food (my cousin Izzy ate the other 1/4). Why? Because my awesome grandparents kept sneaking me people food. Even better, I kept eating the cats' food. Not because I like it, but because it pisses them off when I eat it. That stuff could taste like poo and I would still eat it to make the cats mad (not that poo is as terrible as you humans think it is. I don't eat as much as I once did, but I still make it a regular meal).

4. Chasing Cats: A classic activity when I visit my grandparents. But it never gets old.

3. My Cousin Izzy: She's almost my size now, but I can still totally beat her up with my powerful (read: fat) build. Plus, she decided not to sleep at all Saturday night, meaning that she kept me up all night. Together, we kept Sarah up all night. Sarah was none too happy about this. And even though I was SUPER tired the next day, it was awesome.

This picture isn't from the weekend, because someone forgot to take a picture of the two of us. I'll give you three guesses, but one should be "that moron" and another should be "Sarah."

2. My Grandparents: They are awesome. I should probably treat them better, and not do things like eat their ottoman. But I can't help it - it was fun AND tasty. Oh, and sorry about the barfing incident. And the chasing the cats (OK, I had my paws crossed for that one. I love chasing those little bastards).

And the best thing about vacation?

1. No Sarah: What? Did you ever think it would be something else?

Me, all alone in Wisconsin. I may not look it here, but on the inside, I was jumping for joy.

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