Dogs Need Beds, Too!

Sarah (the asshole) is perpetrating a great injustice against me. You see, while Sarah gets to sleep on a nice, comfy bed every night, she forces me to sleep on the hard, hard floor, with only a bedspread to soften my sensitive self:

This is what Sarah considers a bed. This? Not a bed.

Now, I can totally see how Sarah would want the entire bed to herself. I mean, who doesn't like to spread out and take up as much room as possible when sleeping? I am certainly guilty of hogging space.

Here's the problem. You see, Sarah makes me sleep on the floor of her bedroom every night, with only a blanket, even though she has an entire, empty, spare bedroom, complete with a bed, that I could sleep on!

You know who sleeps in this bed? No one. You know who should sleep in this bed? Me!

Now, it's one thing to be an accidental asshole. I mean, some people are born as jerks, and don't even recognize that they are the way that they are. But with Sarah, it's like she takes pride in being as mean to me as possible. I mean, if I so much as smell the bed in the spare bedroom, she freaks out! Seriously, Sarah, take a pill! It's just a dog sniffing a bed! Calm down!

Unfortunately, in cultivating her assholishness, Sarah not only won't let me on the spare bed, she doesn't even let me in the spare bedroom when she is not around. It's like she doesn't trust me at all while she is out of the house. OK, yes, I spend lots of time on the good couch when she is at work. And I have been known to counter surf every now and then. But come on! It's just a bed, it can be cleaned. I need my beauty sleep! Stupid rules. And stupid Sarah.